Advice can be a bit Marmite, can’t it? And never more so than when a new baby arrives on the scene. Every woman and her stretch marks has something to offer, welcomed or otherwise.
But while one well-meant suggestion might leave you feeling like you’re doing it all wrong (don’t let it!) another can – quite literally – save the day.
And it’s that sort of 24-carat gold I want to load up my pockets with. I have little interest in what finger-wagging Mrs X did circa 1925 or what the 12-year-old next-door will do when she becomes a mum one day.
But people who are parenting now, who are in this whirlwind with me and who have either unearthed or coined ideas and tricks that are working for them… THAT I want in on.
And my goodness are there some corkers! Some things that when they’ve paid off with our little rascal have left Mr R and me feeling like giddy school kids who’ve passed a maths test thanks to a little-known cheat.
Some seemed so obvious or so slight a change to what we were already doing, how could they make a difference? They did.
Some make us look like utter loons when we wheel them out in public. Some have a 50:50 success rate. Who cares! I want them in my mummy arsenal.
A hack shared is a parent’s sanity saved. So as a measure of goodwill – and a bargaining tool should you lovely lot have any wisdom to proffer in return – here are my couldn’t-do-without tricks making our family life easier.
THE CAR SEAT SWING
Transition is a baby’s bete noire – moving from a snuggly cradle in your arms to a cold, upright, restrictive car seat is the worst of all. In Teddy’s case, this usually results in an uncharacteristic outburst of breathless screaming and writhing to break free. Until we pick up the car seat by the handle and swing it back and forth. Ensure baby is fastened in securely and your grip is tight, and calm will hopefully be restored within minutes.
IN A HEARTBEAT
Gently tapping Teddy’s bottom as if sounding a heartbeat has soothed him since the beginning. Even now when he’s overtired and fussing over a feed, it calms and comforts him, almost as if it’s a reminder of the sensation of my heart beating against him in the womb. Throw in a soft ‘choo-choo-choo’ sound and he’s in baby bliss.
STOP THE SNACK AND SNOOZE ROUTINE
I recently tuned into an episode of The Parent Hood, where Sarah Norris (aka The Baby Detective) was discussing how to get your baby to sleep through the night. I nodded along to her advice, ticking off the things I was already doing with Teddy (a not perfect but not terrible sleeper). ‘Don’t let baby fall asleep at the breast…’
Guilty. That was how I’d been putting Teddy to bed for months – laying him down when he was milk drunk and knocking at the door of Slumber Land. But by letting him drift off mid-feed, he wasn’t filling himself up enough to sleep longer than four hours. ‘Treat feeding as a business meeting,’ Sarah continued. So no sleeping on the job.
Now I set aside an hour to feed, wind, feed, wind, read a story, change position, feed – whatever it takes to keep Teddy awake and ensure he’s good and full. He sleeps for 8 hours straight. Cheers Sarah, my boobs and eye bags are so grateful!
WEAR YOUR BABY
Hair to dry, housework to do… blogs to write – but baby will not be put down? Wear them. Literally. Put on your baby carrier or sling, pop them in and regain use of both your hands. If you’re lucky, they’ll fall asleep as you go about your to-do list. Hands-free mummying is something I cottoned on to quite early on and it was especially useful in the initial weeks, when Teddy and I were getting to know each other and I was finding my feet as a mummy. You can read about my recommended slings and baby carriers here, which I still use daily almost six months on.
WHAT GOES UP, GOES DOWN
The flaps at the top of baby vests aren’t just there to make it easier to put them on. They’re damage limitation for when a poonami hits – a force of excrement so severe no nappy stands a chance of containing it. Pull the vest down over the shoulders to save smearing it over your little darling’s face. It’s slightly less gag-inducing than the alternative.
KITCHEN ROLL IT
On the subject of nappy changing, keep a roll of ultra-absorbent kitchen paper to hand. Heck, walk around with it permanently under your arm! Never mind blotting dry washed salad leaves, it comes into its own when tackling snotty noses, dribbly chins and whatever lies in wait in Teddy’s nappy. Roll out a couple of pieces on the changing mat ready to soak up anything that escapes – and if, like us, you have a baby boy, tear off an extra piece in case he decides to give you a fountain display before the clean nappy is in place.
SORT IT OUT
Better to be looking at it than looking for it – sounds so trivial and perhaps a little condescending, but when you’re blindsided by an emergency outfit change at 3am, being able to open a drawer and know exactly where everything is can be the difference between a quick fix and a bumbled attempt resulting in a screaming fit that wakes up the whole street. Vests in one pile, sleepsuits in another, nappies and wipes in reach etc etc. Mr R goes one step further and ends one nappy change by setting up the station ready for the next – disposable bag opened, kitchen roll in place, nappy unfolded… Efficiency is the name of the game.
LET’S TALK ABOUT SOCKS
I’ll be damned if I can get them to stay on Teddy’s twinkle toes all day long, but socks do make cracking scratch mitts (which, incidentally, I’ve found to be an utter waste of money – like giant, flimsy oven gloves that fly off with even the slightest movement). Even in those sleepsuits with the little hand flaps built in, a thumb somehow manages to escape in the night leaving his chubby little face looking like an Etch-a-Sketch come morning. Socks are like straightjackets for baby hands.
BABY BICYCLE KICKS
Tummy ache giving baby gyp? Lay them on their back and slowly but firmly move their legs as if they’re in a LBT class, aiming to get their knees as close to their nose as you can. And out comes the wind. This little move is what gave Trumpy Ted his first nickname (poor kid).
STOP THE CLOCK
So you need to leave the house by 11am ON THE DOT? Set your timer for half an hour earlier. Getting a baby out of the door can take an age – there’s always an unplanned change/feed/nappy bag restock/‘Oh marvellous, it’s throwing it down and I’ve no idea where the rain cover is and now the dog needs another pee’ to factor in, regardless of how organised you think you are. Tell yourself you actually need to leave at 10.30am at the latest and you’ll be out by your true deadline.
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