Let’s face it – no one really wants to get their boob out in public. Especially in those early postnatal days, when learning how to breastfeed can be challenging enough. But short of rendering ourselves housebound until weaning, getting to grips with nursing in front of others is just another module to master in the New Mums Curriculum.
I’m lucky, Teddy has been a great feeder since day one – a real guzzler (a relief, as I know it can be a stressful time for some). And aside from a little soreness, I was pretty comfortable with it too, learning his hunger signals. A stir, a cry… there I was armed to feed.
But venture away from the comfort of home and suddenly unleashing myself on cue became a more daunting prospect.
The first time I attempted it was in a local pub. I was like a teenage boy trying to undo a bra, my hands clammy and fumbling to work the clasp; my brand new (until then, unused) feeding cover had wrapped itself around my head in the fashion of a nun’s habit; and a breast pad promptly dropped out of my bra and on to the table like a beer mat. All the while Teddy’s cry was gaining decibels.
Thankfully, the pub was pretty empty, we were hidden away in a corner and Mr R has long made it his quest to see the funny side of a sticky situation. We laughed it off, but the scene did little to boost my confidence.
After that, I set myself homework to practice breastfeeding as I would in public behind closed doors, to polish up the drill a little. It took time, and the months that followed haven’t been without drama – a raucous spluttering fit in Cafe Nero when Teddy’s mid-morning feed went down the wrong way, rage at being covered up in an already overheated restaurant, a face full of milk after he slipped off and effectively got water pistoled by Mum…
Now, happily, Ted and I are more in sync with the whole eating out gig. And I reckon I’ve picked up a few tips worth sharing…
BE BRA WISE
No longer is the focus on lace and good cleavage but rather what will keep the girls up and let them out easily. Glamour doesn’t feature highly when it comes to breastfeeding. That said, it doesn’t need to go totally out of the window – your boobs may be no longer just your own, but there are some lovely maternity bras out there to help keep you feeling shapely. ASOS has a great selection (the high street is still quite limited) including Bonds, Dorina May and Charley M – all stylish and super comfy.
COVER UP OR DOUBLE UP
Teddy still isn’t keen on being hidden away while feeding, preferring to eat with a view, though I have friends who swear by breastfeeding scarves and manage them with much more elegance than I was ever able to. Favourite brands recommended to me include Mamamoosh and Bebe au Lait.
Now I focus on keeping myself rather than the little man covered, favouring the two tops method – one comes up, the other goes down and Ted’s head covers what’s in between. You can easily pick up feeding vests from baby shops and stores with maternity departments, such as H&M. They unclip at the front like feeding bras – a fiddle at first but easy once you get the hang of them.
A friend recently gifted me a couple of Breastvests, which I love. They’re a little old-school-wrestling-singlet (the top scoops and sits below your bra), but they fit neatly under ordinary clothing, cover your tum and there are no extra straps to undo.
DRESS REHEARSE IT
Practicing at home was a real help. Instead of uncovering myself as if no one was watching, I started to pay attention to the details. What clothes were easiest to feed in, which jumpers irritated Teddy’s nose, the bras that were easiest to clip down and do up again, how to get Ted to latch on discretely… It quickly became second nature.
PLAN… IF YOU CAN
Of course, it isn’t always possible to be ahead of the game and know when your little one will want a feed, but aiming to be settled somewhere when the time comes rather than frantically searching for a suitable place to do it takes a considerable amount of pressure off. If we’re popping out for lunch, I know Teddy’s tummy will usually start rumbling around 1pm, so we try to work around that as best we can – ideally feeding him between placing our orders and our meals arriving.
REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE DOING IT
I’m yet to be challenged for my decision to feed in a public place, or to be made to feel uncomfortable. I hope I never encounter anyone shallow-minded enough to do so. But I do often wonder what I might say to such a person. Politely thank them for their unwarranted opinion? Offer them the alternative – a symphony of screaming baby? Tell them to stick it? One thing’s for certain, I won’t be made to feel like nourishing my child is anything to be ashamed of.
HELP!
If assistance is available, accept it. There’s no point in being too proud to ask your partner/friend/mum to hold up a scarf while baby latches on, or to take over burping them while you put yourself away. More hands, light work etc.
Still a bit nervous? Call upon a mum friend or two and head to a coffee shop to feed your babies together for moral support.
LAUGH IT OFF
If it all ends up boobs akimbo, so what? Chances are there are thousands of other women who’ve found themselves red faced in a similar situation. We’re all learning – might as well have a giggle in the meantime. And if you’re struggling to draw up a smile, just think of that breast pad on the pub table and you’re sure to feel better about it all…
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