Friday, 29 June 2018

Breaking up with breastfeeding



In the words of The Walker Brothers (because that’s how current I like to be with my musical references), it’s so very hard to do.

SO hard.

Or at least that’s how I’m finding calling time on my relationship with breastfeeding Teddy.



Before Ted was born I was pretty matter of fact about the prospect of nursing him – either I’d get along with it or I wouldn’t. I had bottles and a steriliser at home as back up, and much as I liked the idea of giving it a go I wasn’t going to lose sleep if it didn’t work out.

But when the little man arrived a born guzzler, breastfeeding and I hit it off right away. There was the odd hiccup initially, but then what new courtship is without them? (Click here for more on that.)

Given time, things ran steady. And aside from a brief ruckus at the onset of weaning when I behaved like a woman scorned for a day or two, it’s all been pretty wonderful.

I chose and was able to breastfeed, but I’m forcing myself to stop.

Why throw in the towel now, I hear you ask? After all, it’s perfectly normal to breastfeed alongside solid foods beyond your baby’s first birthday – in fact, the World Health Organization encourages it beyond the age of two if you’re both up for it.

Honestly? If I could, I would. I’d happily ring in the anniversaries.

It’s not that my milk supply is in decline, nor that Teddy is getting fed up of having a boob thrust in his face (quite the opposite, actually).

It’s because time is almost up on my maternity leave and my expected return to work date is less than two months away – a prospect so gut-wrenching it takes my breath away.

So it dawned on me with weighty reality that soon I won’t be around to tend to Teddy’s every milk craving, and that’s something I need to act on now. Taking away his mother and her help-yourself drinks cabinet in one fell swoop seems too cruel.

D-Day is pencilled in for when Ted will be 10 month’s old – exactly a month before my mat-leave bubble bursts (to allow for a little wiggle room should things run over a tad). For the last few weeks I’ve been paring back his daytime feeds, turning a blind eye to his yearning gaze as I pack away my boobs and offer up a bottle or finger food instead (the NHS advises replacing dropped feeds with formula until baby turns one: read the guidelines here).

And it’s been OK.

Ted’s taking it pretty well. Mr R is excited for the day my cleavage is no longer referred to as ‘a snack’. And being able to wear lingerie more flattering than cat-flap maternity bras is, I grant you, a novelty.

But I’m clinging on to those night feeds. A time to snuggle up with my boy, squish him in extra close and breathe in his scent as he gulps back what his mama made him. I don’t mind what time it is, I crave these feeds as much as he does. Emotionally and physically…

Because BOY does it hurt when you start to drop feeds while things are still in full flow. In the first week of Operation Less Breast I found myself frantically pacing the house, engorged boob in hand, looking for something – anything – to feed. The dog looked worried…

I’d disposed of my breast pump prematurely, which left me no option other than to retreat to a hot shower and some desperate hand expressing. Too many feeds dropped in quick succession. Lesson learned.

As my health visitor promised, things are becoming calmer, less uncomfortable… We’re down to just a couple of feeds now and I’m noticing Teddy depending on me less, as I know he should.

But once it’s over, it’s over. No going back for old time’s sake.

Breastfeeding, like a summer fling, will become a brief encounter for me to cherish.

And while I’m all for clean break ups and moving forward, I’m going to need to mourn this one first – at least for a little while.


How did you find stopping breastfeeding? Emotional? Liberating? Or are you in it for the long haul? Share your experiences in the comment box below…





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Sunday, 17 June 2018

Travelling with a baby (part 2) – what to pack



I always pledge to travel light. I pride myself on it, actually, smiling smugly as I check in my 12kg suitcase while others fret that theirs may be over the more sizeable limit.

But packing for this year’s holiday, with Teddy and all his paraphernalia to account for…? This year it was tricky.



What could we do without? What new kit did we have to buy? Could we risk leaving something behind in the hope we could buy it at the airport or at our destination?

Truth be told, there’s little so essential we couldn’t manage a week away from. Suncream, a hat and the trusty milk makers would probably have been sufficient. But this being the first holiday Mr R and I had booked since our honeymoon two years ago, living semi-feral for a week wasn’t top of my list of workable options.

So, we managed to squeeze everything the three of us needed into two 16kg cases and one cabin bag. I say needed loosely, as now we’re home I realise packing 18 outfits for Teddy was entirely foolish given that he spent 85% of his time bare-bummed or in just a nappy.

Below is a list of the true travel must-haves, along with some less-vital-but-still-useful stuff worth factoring into your holiday luggage allowance when travelling overseas with a baby in tow…

PASSPORT AND PANTS
Let’s begin with the obvious – your baby will need their own passport, so allow enough time to get that sorted (yes it’s bonkers how that gummy newborn photograph will stay with them until their five years old). Then remember to pack it.
Depending on where you’re travelling to, it’s worth making room for a stash of nappies too. We holidayed in a sleepy Greek village and while the local shop did sell nappies, sizes and stock were limited. Good for a back up, but perhaps a tad risky to solely rely on.

THE RED BOOK
The health record book you cart around everywhere in your nappy bag? That’s going on holiday too. Because while it’s unsettling to think your little one will fall ill while your away, it will be less stressful than it could be should something happen and the red book be back in Blighty. Pop it in your hand luggage along with a bottle of Calpol, then forget about it.
Same goes for the EHIC card (formerly the E111). You’ll each need one – baby too – just in case you require healthcare services while you’re away. It’s free and easy to apply for, and Ted’s arrived within five working days – which was handy as I’d forgotten all about it until the week before we were due to fly.

BABY CARRIER
I’m going to bang on about the benefits of baby wearing again, but bear with me… While you can keep hold of the buggy until you board the plane, there are various points at which it will need to be collapsed and your baby held – security, stairs down to the gate (no lift Manchester?) etc. Factor in your cabin luggage and having your hands free to carry it becomes an asset. Baby carrier to the rescue.
Same goes for when you land at the other side. Buggies are often the last thing to be unloaded – yours may even end up languishing at the opposite end of the airport while you watch the carousel go round another 12 times before someone alerts you to its whereabouts (as seems to be the Greek way of doing things). Now you have your cabin luggage, baby, suitcases and no buggy. Baby carrier to the rescue, again.
On to the taxi. If, like us, you choose not to lug your car seat overseas with you, there’s a chance the taxis available at the airport may have one available. If not, having your baby strapped to you in the baby carrier while sitting in the rear seat is a safe and legal way of getting from A to B. Our hotel transfer was just five minutes, but had it been considerably longer I probably would have been minded to call ahead and book a taxi with a car seat, for the sake of comfort. Still, baby carrier to the rescue, AGAIN. I rest my case.

BUGGY
Be practical here – what will be easy to transport, comfortable for your baby and functional on uneven terrain? Don’t take something you’ll be precious about getting scuffed or spilled on. I love our Joolz pram but am so glad we left it safely tucked up at home, as it can be a bumpy ride down in the aeroplane hold – the buggy we did take was (eventually) returned to us in Kefalonia sans cup holder. No biggie, but you know, not ideal.
We opted for the Hauck Tango Stroller purely because it was a bargain in the sale. Not as pretty as the Joolz but lovely nonetheless and sturdy as far as buggies go (although I admit I have little to compare it to). It ticked all the boxes: quick and easy to put up and down, Teddy was happy in it and – crucially – slept soundly thanks to the three-stage recline function, and it deftly negotiated steep hills, rocky roads and wet sand.

BLACKOUT BLIND
Keeping Teddy out of the sun and able to sleep in his buggy was a holiday-shop priority. We considered a parasol but were put off by the prospect of lugging another bulky item. We also wanted something that would block out the light in the evenings in the hope that Teddy might sleep when Mr R and I headed out for dinner. The SnoozeShade (£19.99, Amazon) was just what we were looking for. It blocks out 99% of harmful UV rays, protects from insects and acts as a wind guard when the sea breeze whips up. The fit is universal and the air-permeable material meant Teddy got less hot and sweaty than he would have had we simply placed a blanket over the pram to block out the light. There’s a peekaboo zip down the front so you can easily check on your sleeping babe (see it in action here), and when not in use the shade folds up into a small pouch, taking up little of that vital luggage space. As for allowing a window of peace and quiet in the evenings… five nights out of seven it worked. We popped the shade over the buggy at Teddy’s usual bedtime and he slept until we returned to our apartment at the end of the night.



DON’T FORGET YOUR SWIMMERS
One thing you can rely on being able to get hold of at any beach resort is an array of swimming gear. We seemingly forgot this and ordered a swimming float from Amazon, which to date is the best toy (if you can call it that) we’ve bought him. He LOVED it. We also packed two swimsuits, which in hindsight were perhaps an unnecessary hassle – a fiddle to get on and even worse to get off once wet. By the end of the week we resorted to slathering him with suncream and taking him swimming outside of siesta hours in just a swim nappy.

FOOD
If you’re weaning your baby, it’s worth thinking ahead about what they’ll be able to eat on holiday. We booked to stay in a self-catered apartment, which armed us with some basic kitchen implements but not enough to do more than a little cold food prep – not an issue, as we love to eat out when away. However, my Greek extends little beyond asking for the bill, so attempting to order a Teddy-friendly, salt-free meal in a restaurant seemed foolhardy. A week-long diet of white bread and Greek yogurt seemed ill-advised too. So we packed a stash of baby food pouches to be on the safe side (find our favourite meals here) and filled our fridge with fresh fruit, yogurt and other appropriate finger foods when we landed. I also packed bibs (pointless as Teddy was naked most of the time), bowls (unnecessary: any bowl will do), baby spoons, a sippy cup and a couple of tubs for transporting bits and bobs down to the beach (useful). If your baby is bottle fed, be sure to pack enough formula as again, depending on where you travel to, brands can be different and availability limited.

MOSQUITO NET
Most family-friendly hotels provide a travel cot free of charge, but you’ll need to provide your own net to protect that beautiful baby skin from mozzie bites.

SLIP-PROOF CHANGING MAT
A non-essential, but we found this neoprene changing mat with a gripped base from JoJo Maman Bebe so useful we’ve added it to our nappy bag now we’re home. Great for poolside and quick to dry, it rolls up neatly too.


NEXT TIME… Holiday hacks to keep the peace
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Sunday, 10 June 2018

Travelling with a baby (part 1) – a vlog

We did it! We left behind the comfort (and parenting toolkit) of home and travelled overseas with our eight month old. And we had a jolly lovely time. Better than lovely. The sort of holiday that makes your tummy fizz and pop with excitement each day just because you’re some place new, together, laughing and smiling round the clock… A place that’s warm and has no expectation of you to tend to the mundane.

Was it different to holidays past? Naturally.

Was it relaxing? …not exactly.

Would I do it again? Quicker than you can pour me a virgin mojito (read: the microwave fried the steriliser on day two so that meant no bottle for Teddy nor me, sigh…).

But before I regale you with the incidentals – what we packed, where we stayed, how we maintained a modicum of routine, managed a little Mr R and me time, avoided the dreaded in-flight tantrum… – here’s a video snapshot of Teddy’s first holiday.

The filming is shaky and the editing shamefully amateur, but the happiness it captures is authentic. I hope it will draw a smile and perhaps even inspire your own family travel plans this summer.

TEDDY’S FIRST HOLIDAY, KEFALONIA, MAY 2018




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